The Line Between

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There is a great life skill which allows you to hold a line between your deeper feelings and sensitivities and the behavior of people and situations around you.  Often the advice you hear is about numbing yourself to things that happen to you.  The real skill is establishing a line which allows you to look at the patterns that are happening around you with the understanding that you did not attract, create or become responsible for all of those patterns.  For instance,
Let us say that you are dealing with an individual with a significant need to control.  If you find yourself becoming responsible for pleasing that person, your line is not strong enough.  The wisdom is in seeing how that controlling pattern is working, recognizing how it works and choosing to consult yourself about what is best for you.  Do not expect the controlling person to be happy that you have chosen what is best for you, but do not take on guilt for the reaction of the other person.  Life requires cooperation, but it does not require you to be in a position of constant hurt and upset because your line is not strong and protective.

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